15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
It is time for a bit of honesty today. I really do not want to write this post. We are in the midst of an incredibly busy time due to a minor disaster in our home. Without a doubt, I am thankful for all the amazing ways God has provided for us in the past 3 weeks, but I cannot help but feel tired. Mentally, I am having difficulties keeping everything straight. Physically, I really just want a “day off”. Spiritually, I feel like I am in a stage with a bit of uncertainty. Today, for example, our calendar was filled with things to accomplish. In the midst of the day, a hiccup: an ingredient I was sure I had for dinner, was not there. I did not have a plan B. I was tutoring, my husband was working and taking care of my car getting fixed, so there was no time to come up with a new plan. This led to a chaotic evening before my husband’s meeting and putting the kids to bed on my own. As I am sitting here on the other side of the chaos, I can still see all the provision of God throughout the day, but I cannot shake the feeling that I let everyone down. There it is. I don’t have what it takes. It is a recurring doubt that I have to fight off with authority, because the path it leads me down is a dangerous one, full of darkness and fear.
So, as I look back on today and I struggle to fight back the doubts of my ability as a mother and a wife, I am going to give thanks. I give thanks for the abundant blessings in my life of a home, food, clothes, a healthy family, a loving family, and so many other things I could not even begin to list them all. However, I also want to give thanks to God for the gifts he has given me. No, on my own, I am not enough, and there will always be days when I feel like I do not measure up. However, God has given me talents, personality traits and spiritual gifts that allow me to always feel his presence, and to allow me to hear his guidance when I feel like I have fallen short.
I give thanks he has given me the ability to teach. God has blessed me with wisdom and knowledge and the ability to clearly share that with others. Not only has this talent allowed me to be a math teacher, but also to raise my children, lead Bible Studies and impart knowledge in everyday situations. Through teaching others, I have learned some of the greatest lessons of my life. These lessons have shown me how to love others better and how to allow others to love me.
I give thanks that he has made me organized. Organization has allowed me to live out my priorities and allowed me to overcome clutter in my mind. The clutter in my mind threatens to overcome me at any moment and plunge me into darkness if I do not keep my focus and priorities where they ought to be. My organization allows me to be effective in all areas of my life.
Perhaps most of all, I thank God for the grace and love he showed me, despite my past failures so that I might extend that same grace and love to others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” I have fallen short so many times, yet Christ’s death has covered ALL my sin. The true realization of that has brought me freedom. Not freedom to sin as I wish, but freedom from the shackles of sin. I can have the peace of God within me instead of the battles that rage in the midst of sin.
As we look to the promises given us in Scripture, we should be confident in our abilities. Not in a cocky or arrogant way, but knowing that God has given us the strength and ability to glorify him in all things. I may not change the world in the view of history, but in God’s eyes, each action I take to glorify him changes the world for the better. Thanks be to God for his abundant blessings!